Wednesday, August 7, 2013

The Home Stretch

Well I've officially hit the "over it" stage of pregnancy.  Waking up twice a night to visit the bathroom, needing a crane to turn over in bed, and wicked heartburn are really cramping my style.  I think I promised not to complain when we shared the news some months back, but dude.  It's much worse than I remember.  I'm still amazed and thankful and half not believing we're having a second baby, and it's totally a miracle from God.  But I'm ready to have this little boy here and just skip over the next month and the whole labor scene.  It's weird that in a few weeks we'll have two kids, and be a family of four.  What a blessing, but also pretty scary. 

35ish weeks.

When they announced the embassy closing I was glad, because it meant more time with Thomas but it's been a pretty long week without the usual schedule of swimming once or twice, having the playground access, getting to eat lunch with Thomas solo a couple times, etc.  I definitely spend too much time there.  We haven't felt unsafe here in Amman, which is a big blessing, and honestly it's just been inconvenient.  Looking forward to having more of a normal life once Eid is over (after this weekend) and things settle down a bit.

We've resorted to some TV time, complete with Cheez Its.

Not much else to report, honestly we're just hanging out at home mostly.  Although Thomas and I did run out to the mall today to walk around.  Which completely wore me out, then we had lunch just the two of us at one of the few restaurants open during the day.  Thankfully today is the last day of Ramadan and Eid begins tomorrow.  I'm not sure what will remain open during the holiday, but fingers crossed Fatburger will reopen.  I'm in desperate need of burgers and shakes.  Or so this baby tells me.

Benjamin is ready to be a big brother!

We've got most things lined up for the baby, Benjamin is moved into his "big boy" room, and we've got the bottles and formula ready in case nursing crashes and burns like last time.  But I'm holding out hope, evidently there's an amazing lactation consultant here.  I feel silly asking God to let me breastfeed, I did that when I was still pregnant before my miscarriage in September last year, and then when I lost the baby I felt like I should only ask for a healthy child.  But I would really like it to work out, so I'm starting to pray about it.  Trying not to hinge my self-worth on it though, it was so devastating last time.  But in addition to praying for a healthy baby and smooth delivery, please pray that I will rest in God's grace no matter what happens nursing-wise.



  1. Hang in there! I was rather devastated that I needed a c-section with Judah, and spent lots of time in prayer about being able to VBAC with Naomi. Even though we had such a hard time getting pregnant with him, and then had an ectopic pregnancy just before Naomi, I still really wanted a vaginal delivery. So it's OK to ask God for it. Breast feeding is cheaper and (I think) in the long run easier, just like having a vaginal delivery. I think it's wise to approach it in a way that won't devastate you if it doesn't work out (since, after all, a happy healthy baby who is gaining weight and a happy, healthy mama is most important) but still hope and pray for a smoother nursing experience. Definitely use the lactation consultant. My advice is also to nurse like crazy for the first few days to help with your supply, and remember that baby's stomach is tiny the first few days and so he doesn't need much milk, no matter what anyone tells you. Babies always lose weight at the beginning, so try to avoid bottles until you have a good latch. There are lots of great breastfeeding books that may be helpful if you can get your hands on one before the baby is born. I also would nurse and then pump for 5 or 10 minutes over the first few weeks as well. This helped increase my supply and create a bit of a freezer stash that was helpful later. Get a good nursing pillow and try different positions to see what feels most natural for you. While having lots of pain means a bad latch, it is NORMAL to have some pain. Both my kids had a great latch and the beginning of each nursing session I always had some pain, which usually lasted a month or so. I have loved nursing both babies and if I can help with anything please shoot me an email - I'm not a lactation consultant and obviously I'm far away, but I have done a lot of reading. I actually wrote a couple of posts on my blog about nursing that probably are just info you know already, but if you search for breastfeeding you can find them. I'll be praying for everything to go smoothly!

    1. Hey Aubrey,
      Thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement! When Benjamin was born we tried almost everything, but I was diagnosed with hypoplasia:
      So I'm not holding out too much hope that it will work, but I want to try harder to maintain nursing even with supplementing, since I gave up on it after a couple weeks with Benjamin. I pumped for eleven months and definitely never made enough, but I know that God is sovereign and His will is good no matter what I want. I will definitely search your blog! Thanks again!

  2. It sounds like you did everything you could. I know that some women just don't make enough, and then the most important thing is just making sure your baby isn't going hungry. I think trying to nurse and supplement is probably a good goal. Very impressive to do all that pumping. I think pumping is the worst and now pretty much only do it if I'm at work or know that I'm going to be away from her and need some milk for the fridge. Did you try any medications? Domperidone could probably be gotten fairly easily in Jordan and supposedly it's one of the better meds to try, although I don't know if that really helps with hypoplasia. I don't know how big the american community is over there or if you'd be comfortable getting milk from someone you don't know, but you may also be able to get some donated breast milk if anyone has a freezer stash to supplement. I have donated milk a couple of times since Naomi was born since I had more than I needed and then we moved and had to empty the freezer. I hope you continue to feel ok and that these last few weeks don't drag on too much. Benjamin came early, right? Hopefully this guy will, too, so you don't have to wait as long. I'll keep praying for the nursing stuff. Being a mama can be super stressful, especially when we fail to meet the personal expectations we have. But you shouldn't feel guilty about formula, especially when you tried so hard. Benjamin is an adorable, healthy kid and formula is not going to mess up this baby, either. :)

    The sister of our music director at church just moved from Amman to Utah. Either she or her husband worked at the embassy (I think) and her name is Kristin Tower - just curious if you knew them.

    Anyway, I've rambled on long enough on your blog. Hope you can get some extra rest while Thomas is home.

    1. I used Fenugreek and Domperidone, but I might start Dom. a little earlier this time. I had to order it from New Zealand before, which felt thrillingly illicit. :-) But yeah, in Jordan you can get tons of stuff without a prescription. I take Metformin for PCOS and just ask for it, no questions asked.

      That's so funny, I've definitely heard the name but I don't think I knew her, I can't bring up a face. But definitely, the name is very familiar. How funny! The world is tiny. Thanks again for your advice and encouragement, it's a blessing. :-)